Smiles In Years
by SoScreamLouderNow
Summary: Not an Edward and Bella story, but a story all about Alice! Japser leaves Alice and she's a wreck. Until someone finds her... FirstFanfic
1. Smiles In Years

Smiles in Years

I sat silently on the old swing for a long time.

I was wearing my favorite dress.

Long and just loose enough.

Pale yellow.

It was almost my way of showing how I felt.

I was originally bright and colorful.

But now pale with how withered I am.

It was when I heard something moving in the trees around me.

My head snapped up.

Was it--?

No it couldn't be.

It's been too long.

"Alice?"

It was Bella.

Bella, _Bella._

"BELLA?"

No.

It was Edward.

How had he found me?

I had left my old family, I needed to – get away.

His crooked smile was etched onto his face.

I couldn't help but smile back.

My first smile in years.

A smile that had many years of loneliness hidden.


	2. Unwanted Memories

Unwanted Memories

"Wh-what do you need?" I asked him carefully.

He continued smiling.

He didn't answer.

"I'll be right back" I murmured.

I raced to my cottage.

I ran to my room.

I changed into dark jeans and a light t-shirt.

I wanted to cry.

Edward, like my brother, had finally found me.

I walked slowly back to him.

"So, do you know what you did to our family once you left?" he demanded anxiously.

Yes, I did know.

I saw it in one of my visions.

Jasper, my love that had left me, felt no remorse.

_He _was the reason I'd left.

ME, Alice, the strong, the helpful, the clever, the optimistic, Alice LEFT.

Jasper.

Emmett had loved me, as a sister of course, and wanted to kill Jasper for what he had done, of course I could have done it myself.

Edward, felt hatred above no other toward Jasper.

Rosalie, felt the same.

As did Esme and Carlisle.

Bella, wished I hadn't gone, she wanted me to come back she didn't want to kill Jasper. She wanted him to apologize to come back as she had joined us "vampires".

_All these unwanted memories._

"Of course I know" I whispered back to Edward.

"Then why didn't you come back?" he asked.

"Because the house, his room, the pictures, everything reminds me of _him_. But you know that don't you? You know how I've felt?" I told him.

"Of course I did" he said "But I wanted to hear it from you" he answered.

"So?" I asked him "Why are you here?"


	3. Edwards' Tale

Edwards Tale

"To tell you what I went through to get Jasper and you" he said pleasantly.

"Well?" I asked him.

"I went to Tanya's, but he wasn't there and you weren't either. After, I started searching everywhere you might be like--" he was cut off.

"And Bella?" I asked.

"I left her with Carlisle and Esme,

She's still struggling to gain control over her new powers."

He said.

I noticed the sense of disapproval, but yet excitement in his voice.

"So I literally traveled around the world

To see you and bring you back home.

But why here?

Why'd you come here?"

He was now speaking more to himself than me.

"Poland, but why?

I would have never guessed.

But I did in the end" he smiled.

"I went to Italy; I had though you'd given yourself up to the Volturi

Tibet, England, Uruguay, and Bermuda, Hawaii"

He said ticking them off on his fingers

"Greece, Argentina and Cuba"

He looked up at me.

Why, why why why did you leave?" he said hoarsely.

His normally musical voice sounded stressed.

"I thought you were stronger than this

I'd left my wife to look for you.

Alice, answer me, I don't care how long it takes

Why did you run away?"


	4. Time

Time

Why did I run away?

I thought he might have known.

But he didn't.

So I started

"I ran away because

I felt like I couldn't

handle being without him

Like when you left Bella.

You told her

'It will be as if I never existed'

You told her

'Time heals all wounds for your kind'"

His eyes were closed.

"How do you know?" he asked, whispering,

his eyes still shut tightly.

"As if I didn't look in on you then"

I told him.

I would have laughed if

I wasn't so stressed.

"But it didn't work

When you told her time

heals all wounds

you know it doesn't.

No matter human or not.

And your last words

'It would be as if I never existed'

She broke

To her love, life, meaning ... was over"

He interrupted

"What the hell does this have to do with you?"

He was angry.

"It has everything to do with me

don't you see?

He said nothing like that to me!

He just left with a note

_'If love meant this_

_I don't think I knew_

_Alice no matter how much you love me_

_I'm not right for you_'"

I said to him just as angry,

Retelling the note I

already knew by heart.

I _would_ have cried

If I was human.

But I'm not.

I whispered

to his mortified, but still perfect face

"Time heals no wounds

Bella and I know.

She never completely healed

and nor will I

I _need_ Jasper."

**_Review Please, Please, Pleaseee!!_**


	5. Silence

Silence

We both stayed silent for a long time,

After I told him I need Jasper.

I didn't need to look at him to know.

I knew he felt this was his entire fault,

But it wasn't.

He was, of course, guiltless.

I was confused,

If it wasn't his fault,

It was either mine or _his_.

I couldn't bear think _his_ name.

I couldn't think of how _he_ felt,

Or where _he_ was,

Or what _he_ thought of _me_ right now.

I felt a surge of hot anger

_Why_ had he done this?

_Why_ did he make me what I now was?

My mind came back to the present.

The silence between me and Edward

Lasted long.

And this was for a vampire too.

I looked down at my hands.

Because I could feel Edwards' eyes

Boring into my skull.

The silence intimidated me.

I felt like it was the 11th of November.

It was very unpleasant.

This silence.

I knew it was my turn to speak.

"Shall we?"

I whispered.

"We shall."

He answered in a voice

That meant no discussion,

But action.


	6. The Return and Reunion

The Return and Reunion

We set off the next day.

But I was starving.

So we stopped in Denver, Colorado.

I quickly ripped apart the deer.

I felt horrible, but it was quick and easy.

We ran toward the 'Cullen house'.

Bella was easily seen talking to Esme on the porch.

I smiled,

I hadn't seen them in a decade.

They jumped up as they saw us.

Esme jumped inside,

Probably to tell the others.

Bella ran toward Edward

With _incredible_ speed.

Tears would have been in her eyes,

If she was human.

She looked at me and hugged me

_Really tight._

We went inside,

And waiting for me inside was

Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie and Emmett.

I smiled,

I was no longer embarrassed.

For I had my family.

That night I returned to myself,

The strong, helpful, clever, optimistic Alice,

Returnrd and was reunited with her family.

Next task: track down and beg Jasper to take you back.

But that could wait,

I needed some family time

To get to know the new 'vampire' Bella,

_If_ she changed.

That danger magnet,

I smiled to myself.

Jasper can wait,

I want to spend the rest of my days

Until that time

With the Cullen coven.


	7. Tomorrow

Tomorrow

After a nice 'meal'

Bella and I returned home.

Everybody had forgiven me

For leaving.

I trusted them with my life

Not that it could have been

Easily taken away.

A short rap on the door

Interrupted my conversation with

Isabella Cullen.

When I tried to see who it was,

In my mind.

I could see no one.

This meant werewolves.

It was Jacob Black,

Acting as a spokes person for the pack.

Edward answered,

The family gathered 'round.

Bella was stunned speechless.

Her Jacob looked different.

He wore clothes that looked

10 times too small.

He was probably as bulky

As Emmett.

"So" he sneered

"She's back"

He pointed to me.

"That's none of your business,

If she leaves or if she returns"

Bella said coolly and curtly.

"The hell --"

He started to say.

"No it's not"

She responded her

Velvety voice icy.

I smiled.

"What do you need _dog_?"

I asked him,

Emphasizing the word.

"Your _bloodsucker_

Went on _our_ terrain"

He said coldly,

Emphasizing the words.

Just as much as I did.

"Which one?"

Carlisle asked quietly and politely.

I couldn't tell if he was shaken

By his words.

He pointed toward Bella.

"_Isabella Cullen_"

He spit.

"No!" Edward and I shrieked

At the same time.

Carlisle gave us a look

To be quiet.

Edward obeyed, of course.

But I didn't.

"No!"

I yelled again.

"You're just stirring trouble

I was just with her

We came no where near

_Your_ land"

"Oh,

Didn't you?"

He asked.

"No, we didn't"

I whispered.

"Fine"

He said as

He stalked out.

"Trouble"

Rosalie spoke up

"That's what they are"

"I've been here too long,

I've got to start looking for Jasper"

I managed to say his name

"Tomorrow.

No discussion"

I told them

As Emmett and Edward

Opened their mouths.

I slipped upstairs,

As I heard the exchange sighs.

_Tomorrow._


	8. Nothing To Lose, Nothing To Gain

Nothing to Gain, Nothing to Lose

Carlisle knocked softly on my door,

Letting himself in.

I glanced at my clock,

It read 12:01.

"Alice?"

He asked in his melodic voice,

As I layed immovably on my bed.

"Yes?"

I answered.

"Alice,

I know you want to

Search for Jasper

But I'm sure that he's

Gone on.

He may not want to return.

Have you even seen him in

Your visions?"

He asked gently.

"No"

I whispered

"I don't want to.

I don't look for him.

I really can't bear

To see _his_ face".

It was perfectly

True.

"I can't,

Not in this state."

Edward strolled in.

"Shall we?"

He asked.

I knew what he meant

By this question.

"Fine"

I sighed.

But then I smiled,

We were going

To team up to

Find out

Where _he_ was.

"_TOKYO_?

WHAT THE HELL

IS HE DOING IN

_TOKYO_??"

I screamed an hour later.

Edward was just

As stumped as I was.

He was in Tokyo

Still hardly able

To control himself.

But he did,

For _me_.

His _love_.

He hadn't given up on

Me just yet.

By finding him

I knew

There was

_Nothing_ to gain,

And _nothing_ to lose.


	9. Tracked

Tracked

I traveled, for days.

With my sister,

Bella.

I could tell that

She was scared.

But there was nothing

I could do.

As much as I loved her

I had a journey of my

Life to complete.

I was alone for too long.

I was serious now.

My usual giddy self was

Out of place,

Until I had Jasper,

Once again.

We were stared at

Everywhere we went,

For our "flawlessness".

Once we reached Tokyo,

Bella spoke for the first

Time in a long time.

"Do you know

Where he is?"

She asked me quietly,

As if I was an enemy,

Or about to pounce.

"Yes, I do Bells, and

I'm really sorry if I've been scary"

I smiled.

She returned my grin,

As she'd signed up for this 'task'.

I walked into a small forest,

Where the leaves on the

Trees were turning red.

I sighed, we were here.

It was time to see Jasper.

Bella glanced at me curiously,

And before she knew it,

Her unasked question

Was answered.

Before our eyes was

Jasper staring at me,

One head tilted to the side.

"We're here"

I murmured under my breath.

We finally tracked him down.

But on his face was

An expression as to say

"Leave, now".

No,

I finally tracked him.

His beautiful pale

Blond hair and eyes,

As blue as the sky.

But, behind him

Lurking in the trees

Was a _human_.

Not as if she

Stumbled here by mistake.


	10. Blood and Pulse

Blood and Pulse

This girl,

Woman.

Whatever she was,

Extended out her hand.

I looked at it.

Hatred was

Bubbling in my throat.

I knew my

Eyes had turned

Coal black.

She didn't seem to notice,

"Hi!

My name is Briar!

What are your names?"

She asked,

Excited.

She knew

What I was.

"I'm Bella,

And she's Alice"

Bella said hurriedly

To the girl with long,

Curly,

Copper hair.

With eyes

As green as

The leaves.

She shuddered,

I knew she had

Seen my expression.

Ready to bite.

But then I smiled,

I knew what she was.

She knew what I was.

I almost laughed

Aloud,

She wanted jasper

To bite her.

Almost like an Edward and Bella story.

But he wasn't.

She reminded me,

Years and years ago.

When Bella and I were

Saving Edward from

The Volturi.

The woman,

Who thought they

Would keep her.

But,

Of course,

They didn't.

She's just a human.

With blood and a pulse.

I did not understand Jasper.

But,

I, of course

Being nice.

Smiled and said

"Hello, Briar".

I looked straight

Into Jaspers eyes,

"Hello J-Jas-per"

Nodding.

He leapt forward,

And held me tightly

To his chest.

"I'm sorry,

Alice,

Please forgive me.

I love you."

He whispered,

His beautiful,

Velvet,

Melodic voice,

Flowing through my ear.

I love those 3 words,

They truly aren't said

Enough.

"I love you too"

I whispered back,

Embracing him.

Bella stood smiling.

The biggest smile in a long time.

Jasper looked at the girl

With blood and a pulse.

"Do you truly want me to bite you?"

He asked.

She looked us over,

Shook her head.

And ran deep into the forest,

Never to come back.

I knew we couldn't last long without each other.

_**Heyy, not the end just yet!! Review please!!**_


	11. Response

Response

That night we departed,

Holding hands

For the first time

In a long time.

I truly did love

Him with all my heart,

And I knew

He loved me with all of his.

Bella strolled along behind us,

Smiling.

Finally, I was back.

Jasper was back.

But instead of thinking

About my past, present or future,

I thought about that Briar girl.

I was so cruel toward her,

But she said nothing.

She wanted

To become one of us,

But I don't think she

Wanted too, that much.

She wanted Jasper.

Aw well, he's mine forever.

Literally.

She won't be seen again.

We ran the rest of the way home.

I saw the house in the distance.

I ran faster,

But Jasper

Let go of my hand.

It was so unexpected

I landed in the soft grass

With a soft _thump_.

We laughed

Together openly.

We must have laughed

_Really_ loud since

Esme opened the door

To see what was happening.

I saw her amazed and relieved

Face.

She squeaked and ran inside,

Probably to tell the rest

Of the _family_.

Jaspers face was horrified,

And he murmured to Bella,

"I knew I shouldn't have come back".

"Don't be and idiot,

_I_ need _you_.

And _we_ need _them_"

I told him pointedly.

Bella giggled.

I grinned.

And outside came Edward

And Emmet.

Furious.

This was the response

I knew would come.

Rosalie didn't charge toward him,

But she had a very

Mistrusting look

Upon her face.

She ran toward Bella, Jasper and I

But not to welcome us.

To yell at Emmett

"Leave him alone!

You'll hurt Alice,

While you try."

She said.

And she threw

Jasper and I

A very dirty look.

Edward and Emmett stopped.

While Edward

Reached to embrace

And kiss Bella

Gently atop her head.

"Welcome home,

Alice, Bella"

Said Carlisle, nodding.

He looked at Jasper.

"Come"

He said quietly

"To my office"

That was _not_ the response I expected.


	12. Conference

Conference

**Jaspers POV**

I walked slowly

Up the stairs to Carlisles'

Study.

Edward and Emmett

Followed noiselessly behind.

But I could tell Carlisle

Didn't mind.

He opened the door

And took a seat

Behind the

Beautiful mahogany desk.

I'd missed

This house so much.

I missed the

People within it

So much.

"Jasper"

Carlisle started

To say.

While Edward and Emmett

Were glaring

Rudely in my direction.

But I interrupted,

"I'm sorry,

Alice deserves better.

I know I left her

Alone and depressed.

We both ran away.

I never

Felt more remorse

In my life

Than then and there"

I finished lamely.

There was a small,

Tiny silence.

Before Emmett

Busted in

"SO?

THAT'S WHAT

YOU THINK?

SHE WAS WORSE

THAN BELLA WHEN

EDWARD LEFT!"

Edward winced,

I knew he

Never felt more shame

Than at that time.

I knew I was trouble.

I sighed,

Which came out

More like a groan.

Edward rolled his eyes.

I felt so ashamed.

"I believe you,

But you must know

What you've done

To Alice"

Carlisle said,

Speaking silently.

_What I've Done._


	13. What I've Done

What I've done

Jaspers POV

I was thinking

Of that song.

"What I've done"

By Linkin Park

It reminded me so much of now.

While Carlisle

Was telling me

What I'd done

To my dear Alice.

"You caused

Her so much pain"

He said.

_And whatever pain may come_

"I know

Don't take the

Entire blame"

_So let mercy come a__nd wash away._

"She did

Take it heavily

A little, too.

But what was your

Reason"

He asked.

_I'll face myself to cross out what I__'ve become._

"What was your reason?"

Carlisle asked a

Little more loudly.

"What I've Doneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

Edward sang,

Snickering.

I knew he'd

Already forgiven me.

I calmed

Emmett down with

My "abilities".

He was going to pounce.

"I left her"

I started

"Because I

Loved her too

Much for her

Own safety.

I needed

Human blood,

And fast.

I think I went through 2.

But I couldn't

Stand it.

It rapidly

Became my obsession.

I needed it.

Then I found Briar"

I told them about Briar.

How much she

Wanted me,

And to become

One of us.

"So I kept her,

She needed me.

So I loved her,

But in no

Way I've loved Alice.

I'm sorry for

What I've done"

_Erase myself a__nd let go of what I've done._

What I've Done- Linkin Park

In this farewell  
There's no blood  
There's no alibi  
'Cause I've drawn regret  
From the truth  
Of a thousand lies

[Pre-Chorus:  
So let mercy come  
And wash away  
What I've done

[Chorus:  
I'll face myself  
To cross out what I've become  
Erase myself  
And let go of what I've done

Put to rest

What you thought of me  
While I clean this slate  
With the hands of uncertainty

[Pre-Chorus

[Chorus

For what I've done  
I start again  
And whatever pain may come  
Today this ends  
I'm forgiving what I've done!!!

[Chorus

What I've done  
Forgiving what I've done


	14. Rejoicing in Forever Land

Rejoicing in Forever Land

[Back to Alice's POV

Edward, Emmett

And Jasper

Came stumbling down

The stairs,

Shaking with laughter.

Carlisle must have

Remained in his study.

But he was forgiven,

I was forgiven.

I was so happy.

We were once again

Welcomed amongst

The Cullen coven.

I turned up the music,

"XO" by Fall Out Boy

Blasted out

from the speakers.

Emmett and Edward

Just laughed.

Bella disappeared

Into a corner,

But came back

A moment later.

With Rose

Holding her wrist

With an

Unbreakable grip

And a smirk.

"Sherriff Hale"

She said in a deep,

Growling,

Joking voice

And unmistakable

Proudness.

"I found this one

Trying to sneak out

Into the meadow".

"Did you now,

And what book

did she take

with her,

_young_ Rosalie?"

I asked,

Spotting a long

And thin book in

her hand.

"'_30 Days of Night_'

As if we need more

Zombies and

vampires in this world"

She snorted.

I laughed

As Carlisle emerged

From his study,

With Esme.

"And what's all this noise?'

He smiled.

I shifted

'embarrassingly'

In my seat.

But I wasn't

really embarrassed,

You know,

Just a joke.

"I'm sorry _daddy_,

I know you

told me never

to have

A house party

without your

permission"

I said smiling

Into my jeans.

"It's quite okay,

_Darling_"

Everyone laughed.

I was

Rejoicing in forever land,

Forever more.

No matter what.


End file.
